13 Reasons Why I Like Mammograms.

Today Is Mammogram day. 

These are my shower thoughts this morning about why I like mammograms better than other doctor and dentist appointments.

1. You don’t get weighed.
2. You only have to take off ½ of your clothes.
3. You don’t get lectures.
4. They have Better Homes and Gardens in their waiting rooms.
5. You can spell it.
6. You don’t have you to wear makeup or jewelry or dress nice, wear deodorant or powder or even brush your teeth if you don’t want to.
7. It doesn’t take mental energy, They don’t ask a lot of questions that you don’t know the answers to… like when was your last…and they tell you exactly where to stand and where to put your arm and not to breathe.
8. They apologize if they hurt you.
9. They apologize if it’s cold.
10. They apologize for everything which makes you feel gracious and rack up goodness points that day for being forgiving.
11. The radiology techs are usually women who are very good at what they do, because it’s what they do, and I appreciate their “we are all in this together” attitude.
12. They try to make the machines look feminine which makes me laugh as if the color pink is the magic key to make us happy about having our breasts squeezed. I hate pink - but I give them credit for trying. One hospital (which shall remain unnamed) tried to make their radiology room look like a suite in a grand hotel. I swear they even had lighted candles. A bit over the top, I thought, as if I’d be more likely to have a mammogram at the Ritz Carlton.
13. You get to wear a cape. I like capes. Capes are classic and never go out of style. (Except they are always pink) Hospital gowns, well, you know....

I heard I am scheduled for a colonoscopy next month.

 Can’t spell it.

 Don’t want it. 

Let’s see what I think of that!

Until then, I remain faithfully,

 Your Mary