According to Mary

Wall Art

2011-08-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

I suppose it was only a matter of time before I tried to paint something.

We'd been living with an empty canvas over our living couch for months. Blank. White. Which for some reason I thought was better than an empty wall.

It was so big and such an odd size. Daunting. So last week, I painted the canvas the same color as the wall, hoping to deflect snide remarks about my unique taste in art. But getting my hand on a paintbrush was like getting on a roller coster - it was all over but the shouting.

Now a week later and I am exhausted and my painting is on the wall.

The size WAS a problem. I had a square idea to paint on an unforgiving rectangle.

I knew nothing about acrylic tube paint so trial and error was my "technique." I even tried to wash out some of the color with a toothbrush when I put too much on, but maybe that IS a "technique" - I don't know.

My vase reminds me of a Zuni bowl I made in Mrs. Van Dorp's 5th grade class.

Did you play with Colorforms when you were a kid? I did. I loved them. No mistakes. So Colorforms became my "method". I painted sheets of paper with beautiful colors and cut out shapes and stuck them on my background. Linda says that makes it a collage, but she is just being kind. We both know it's cheating.

All the same, I hang it with pride and when I look at it, it makes me smile.

Isn't that what art is all about?

What a Difference A Year Can Make

2011-06-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...it's been a while, but I have had a busy year adjusting to my new home and as most of you know, it takes a while. Tiny Castle is home. It feels good to be settled and on the second year in our house enjoying the improvements we made last year.

I am still determined to grow blue morning glories and have planted them in the ground this time instead of pots. Only a few look viable...but all you need is one! I can't wait for their blooms again. I am growing honeysuckle on the east side of my sun porch and put up window hayracks and planted them with who knows what. My garden is all one grand experiment that keeps me walking the yard each day to see who does what in the plant world.

I love my new job working as a special ed sub associate which means teacher's aide. And now I have the summer off to walk my yard. But like my yard, my summer is filling up too.

Our cat from the Animal Rescue league turned out to be a winner. His name is Sammy and he is huge orange cat with a great sense of humor. He adores us, especially Cal who has a lap big enought to support him. He's always interested in what we are doing and commenting on it.

The bikeride that started this blog is long over, but Cal and I are still enjoying that journey over and over again. It was life changing for both of us. Now we are following a young family on line who plan to spend a year on their bikes!

There's lot more going on (in fact, right now we are in the middle of a hail storm...Sammy is Concerned.) But I don't want to overwhelm you.

Love,

Mary

Happy Advent Season

2010-12-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

This, That, and The Other Thing.

2010-08-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

The Morning Glories DID bloom nicely, but the picture does not tell all. The bottom of the vines are almost devoid of leaves and those that are left are yellow and bug ridden. It's been a hard summer here in Iowa. Too much water. Too much heat. Too tropical for much of the Iowa foliage. I just read that it will be the new norm. Of course, that also means more snow! Hot humid summers and warmer, snowier winters...hmmm. I wonder what will grow in that?

Ragbrai, Vacations, and Visiting all under our belts this summer, it is time to turn back to the House. We have met more neighbors and that makes it feel a little homier. The 13 year old next door has looked after our cat. We have shared tools and information, and commented on the weather. Doesn't get much better than that! My next job is to take out the old fence and prepare for a new one. My sister and my husband will be coming to help with that, although I don't know how much work Marcia and I will do. We both like to play.

I have spent my spare time making miniatures for my dollhouse and just bought a little maid doll to take care of it for me. It's quite the place. Another little girl dream come true.

Oh, by the way, I really enjoy fishing. Caught two nice bass. Who would have thunk it.

Inching along here in Des Moines.

Love you,
Mary

The Long Wait

2010-08-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

Morning Glories at Tiny Castle

2010-07-17T06:49:00.001-07:00

Oh! What a Wonderful Birthday!

2010-07-07T09:53:00.000-07:00

Cal informed me that I am now 54 years old. I'm always off by a year so it's nice to have a husband who keeps track of such things. On my birthday, Cal made crepes with hazelnut chocolate and strawberries for breakfast and my sister-in-law and husband came for dinner and a visit to the horse track. The fireworks after the races were, to borrow a word from my sister, "Glorious." I have never seen fireworks like that.

My sister has been visiting me for the past week and we have had a SPLENDID time messing about, exploring Des Moines. I hope she enjoyed her visit as much as I did. I am now planning good times for the next sister who flies into Des Moines on the 21st.

Work on Tiny Castle has slowed for the summer for company, vacations, and hobbies. All good things. We have a tight roof and a functional house and a life to live. Sometimes the amount of work the house still needs can distress me...it's a pretty trick to keep motivated, thinking about how far we've come in 4 months and then how much is still needed. Deep sighs.

I have decided to look for a job this fall, after all the "sister visits" (I have two more sisters coming this summer) and vacations have ended. I am not sure what that will be...another adventure, I guess. I need to get back in an imposed routine. I am not good at being a kept woman for very long. :-)

And the morning glories have reached the light fixture above the front door.

Good times.

Love,
Mary

Today at Tiny Castle

2010-06-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

Two years ago Cal and I were heading to Oregon to begin his Renewing Spirits bike Tour across the United States. It seems like a crazy idea now, but I am so glad we did it. We are still reaping the benefits of learning day by day living. Good Times!

My dad turned 92 yesterday. Happy Birthday, Dad! In 2007, He wrote about his life in a book called "My Story" and had it bound for each of his children. What a wonderful gift. I often think children think that their parents are part of THEIR story not realizing that moms and dads have stories of their own.

I inherited a handmade dollhouse, and even after removing an addition, could not fit it through Tiny Castles attic door. Right now it's serving as end table in the library.

It seems everything in the yard has a scale or a fungus or a very hungry caterpillar. This is why I hate gardening. Once I do the work of planting and weeding, I expect the growing to be done without my help. I keep hoping the plants will outgrow whatever is bugging them. Or maybe if it just stops raining....

Right now my favorite thing in the garden is watching the morning glories "twine." What a great word! A combination of twist and vine, which is exactly what they do. I hope they will flower too, but right now I am just enjoying the green creeping up my brick wall.

Projects in the house continue. Right now we are working on electrical stuff. Lights, ceiling fans. Someday... we will paint.

Two friends from Pella coming on Friday. Yea!
Well, the gutter guy is here. Soon we will have gutters...which with all this rain, is a good thing!

Love,
Mary

2010-06-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

Favorite Things

2010-05-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

The newest and most interesting thing that has happened lately is that my daughter met her 1/2 sister this weekend! I am so happy for both of them...I thought about the birth mother often as Rachel was growing up and dreamed of meeting again someday and completing the circle. The mother died years ago, so that will never happen, but the meeting of the two sisters delights me more than I can say. They met in the town where we lived when Cal was in grad school and where Rachel was born and where the sister now lives. Madison, Wisconsin. History colliding all over the place. WOW.

Chuck, our builder extraordinaire, called our roof - chia roof. Moss was growing in the gutters and on the roof. I planted the moss in my shady Where-The-Wild-Things-Are garden, but the birds kicked it all up looking for worms. I thought to have an award winning exotic moss garden, but ain't going to happen. Meanwhile, my blue morning glories will soom be starting their climb around the front door. Can't wait!

I found a biking trail that suits me perfectly - about 12 level miles with food. I am enjoying biking again - in the city and exploring the trails. Another evidence of the childhood I seem to be recreating at Tiny Castle. An old favorite thing.

Cal made crepes Saturday night and filled them with hazelnut chocolate and warm strawberries...to die for. A new favorite thing.

This week I start Yoga. We'll see if that becomes a favorite thing, too.

Wishing you a day full of favorite things...
Love,
Mary

Sunrise at Tiny Castle

2010-05-19T10:27:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!
It’s been a while since I have watched sunrise come to tiny castle.

The windows in the house now all have blinds or shades that I can open to let in the dawn. Such civilization!...and the small ritual of opening the house to bring in the day affords me much pleasure.

Today tiny castle gets a new roof. The back half of the house still sports the original cedar shakes from 1928. Don’t ask me why they only laid new shingles on the front half of the roof. I, too, am baffled by it, but I would guess only the front part of the roof was leaking.

I enjoy the backyard drama in my tiny garden. The birds, squirrels and rabbits seem to know each other very well and have developed a system of empting my bird feeder that keeps everybody happy. The squirrels climb the shepherd’s hook and hang upside down on the birdfeeder, tipping it so that the feed falls to the ground for the bottom feeders. Here comes everybody…the doves, the rabbits, all the scratchers and nibblers...The rabbits are skitterish when the squirrels are around and the squirrels are frightened of the rabbits so it’s great entertainment. Talk about a social network. Who needs facebook?

My daughter, Rachel and her husband will be going to Madison, Wisconsin to meet her ½ sister for the first time. They discovered each other sometime after Christmas and have been emailing and facebooking. I wish them both well. As Rachel says - “How do you prepare for a thing like that?”

Not working brings out a more domestic side of me. Today I am baking as I listen to my roof literally crumbling about my head.

And it’s a beautiful day here in Beaverdale.

And that’s the news from Tiny Castle.

Advent Wanderings and Letter to Rosa

2009-12-21T06:47:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to my advent wanderings. Just bear with me and we'll get through this rather long blog just fine.

Our first house in Pella was about 6 blocks from the cemetery and made for a lonely walk when we first moved here. Although I recognized the names on the grave stones as Dutch names, they were different the Dutch names I grew up with in Michigan. I didn't know a soul among all those names and it emphasised that I was indeed a stranger in a strange land. The cemetery became a place to have a good cry and then get on with living.

Last Christmas, Rosa, my boss at the bookstore where I work, my daughter, Rachel, and I went to Judy's house to see her collection of Nativities. Judy bought a nativity from our store most years and we would always think about her when we were putting them out for display at Christmas, wondering if she would like any of them this year. Rosa was always happy if we had an especially unusual nativity to show her.

She lived in a Victorian mansion on one of the oldest streets in town and each room was filled with her nativity collection. Rosa and I told her every year that we wanted to see her collection and last year we made it. Judy had been given a second change at life that past year. She had experienced what they thought was a stroke and her recovery was a complete miracle...except for the pain in her shoulder. She died four months later of cancer.

The other day while our house was being shown by a realtor, I drove to the cemetery and took a walk among all the rows of names...But living 28 years in Pella, I can now find the place where my friend's stillborn baby lies, Cal's folks are buried here and some of the teachers of my children...Judy is here, too. Much to my surprise I know almost all the names now. The cemetery is full of friends and acquaintances. Somewhere along the way, I lost my stranger status.

In moving to Des Moines we aren't just leaving Pella, we are leaving our community.
That's what my walk in the cemetery told me.
And cemeteries remain a good place to have a cry.

Cal and I bought a house in Des Moines on 4043 Ashby Ave. I affectionately call it "Tiny Castle" as it is a modified Tudor style. Cal and I both liked the size of the rooms and the layout. I have a vision for the house, but it needs a lot of work and we are anxious to restore this house and make it our home.
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Cal and I have been trying to focus more on Advent this year. Christ has come. Christ is Coming Again. We are in the same place as Israel was the first time. The days appear dark at times and we are longing for his Kingdom to come.

I think of being in "advent" as being pregnant with expectation. It is a helpless feeling. We don't know when the baby will come, we don't know when the promise will be realized. And so we wait. Sometimes we wait with hope, sometimes with despair. We try to be attentive to the present moment, but that darn baby keeps moving around and distracting us. And so we give up and sit with our dreams in our lap and plan for the future. That's what advent has come to mean to me and the waiting for our house to sell and to move seems to feed my longing for Advent.

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Dear Rosa,

This year at the staff Christmas Party I was delighted to receive the picture frame with the words, "We have shared together the blessings of God." Rosa, I will always think of you when I hear those words.

You are my Sister in Christ. We HAVE share his blessing. We have wanted the best for each other. We have demanded little of each other. We have tried to be there for each other. We have accepted each other and enjoyed each other. We let each other fly. For me this has been a great joy.

I will never have a job that I have enjoyed and had so much fun doing as working for you at Gosselinks. I love your giggle and your sense of humor and your honesty. I've enjoying watching your fly by the seat of your pants. Your ability to welcome people and speak at the drop of a hat has awed me. Your generosity and creativity in giving us all unusual and interesting gifts (Like going to Wicked) is over the top.

I have appreciated your ability to share my dreams. I have appreciated your flexibility. And your curls.

I want to tell you how I have loved and respected you for all the things that you have done over the years for me and for the store and for your devotion to your family.

I hope I will be able to be of some service to you and help to make the next months a little easier.

Thank you for everything. And Merry Christmas.

Love,
Mary

My New Bike

2009-08-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness.

I have a new bicycle.

It's a girls' bike with fat tires. (The last time I had a girls' bike, I was ten. I bought my first 10 speed when I was in my teens and it had the boys' bar..I was no sissy.) And now, here I am, once again sitting upright on my cushy seat. I have baskets to carry things and mud flaps. I feel like a kid. I ride on sidewalks. I ride through grass. I need a bell. I don't wear my helmet all the time. I am so cool.

Bikes have always been a part of my life. One summer in Kalamazoo, it was my only transportation to work and college. I loved not having to find parking spots and trying different streets and going places no car had ever gone before. I don't remember sweat or rain or flat tires. I loved my bike.

Maybe the reason I married Cal - besides the fact that he liked to cook - was that he rode a bike too. Bikes have been part of our marriage. In fact, being able to ride a tandem with a happy spirit has become our test of a good marriage. I'm sure you've heard that wall papering can be hard on marriages. Well, so can tandems.

Thanks to Marty (our bike guy) and Cal, I ride the newest model of Treks 7000. I wanted the bike to look like a 1950's model, but I also wanted the 21 gears...and this works. It's black and silver. I wanted red - there's just something about a red bike, but tandem riding also teaches you compromise.

And my rack...WOW. I was thinking perhaps some wire baskets on the back, but nowadays you have these removable canvas bags that can hold gallons of milk. Amazing. I unhook my bags, load up at the grocery store and hook them back on the bike. I'm ready to go. No paper or plastic. Look, mom! I'm GREEN.

Br-r-r-r-ring.

An update on house hunting. I found my dream house in Des Moines. It's tiny and needs about 20,000 dollars of work. It's more of a cottage than a house...but I will hold it lightly. The timing is way off. We continue to make progress on getting our current house up to snuff. Last weekend it was the back yard and now we are ready for the new deck to be built. As much as I dread selling this house, it's nice to think of a dream house waiting for me. Patience, Mary, Patience.

Stay tuned for the very BEST time of year. Fall.

Love,
Mary

Gone Fishing

2009-07-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

My, it's hard to write a blog when you are not biking across the United States. The days of my life so often are just more of the same. I hate to think that my life is boring, but most of it is not blog-worthy.

Almost everyday Cal and I talk about where we were at this time last year. Remembering the day before he had his accident was very strange....knowing what would be happening to Cal within 24 hours. I am glad that preknowing is not a part of my everyday life.

We just spent a week at a cabin in Minnesota with another family. We've been doing this for years and now our wee ones are adults or almost. AND bringing spouses along! It a great thing to have this measuring stick for the changes in our families. As much as I fight against traditions with my rebellious spirit, this tradition makes sense to me and seems to work. There is something for everyone at the lake. My favorite is the loons....their wild laugh and haunting calls relax my spirit and remind me that I am not in my usual place. The men do all the cooking...catching fish and smoking meat. The water is clean, clean, clean and I feel I have better swimming abilities here in Minnesota. (At least my fat cells are more productive here, I can float forever.) This year I got a fishing license, but obviously the fish have nothing to fear from me. But the minnows might. I use them for bait and can heartlessly thread one on a hook all by myself. I read gobs of books, try to stay out of the sun and visit Park Rapids like an old friend. I get to know my children in a different way...no longer tying to keep them safe and happy. That pressure is gone. Now they are fellow pilgrims, walking through their lives and discovering who God made them to be in their own ways. Not always easy to watch, but easier to simply love.

What else? I am trying to lose weight, and only having minor success. I am to be more structured and only having minor success. I am trying to be more honest with myself and only having minor success.

Cal and I are planning to move to Des Moines at some point in the next year and that seems to keep me on my toes and excited about the future. I will miss Pella more than I can imagine, but something drives us on...not for "more," but for different opportunities. But we have been happy in Pella.

So there you are...all caught up.
I celebrated another birthday and I'm 53 years old.
Hope all of you are thriving in God's plan to give you a hope and a future.

Love,
Mary

The Fireplace Room

2009-03-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Today I am cleaning the tiny fireplace room. It is my favorite place in the house. (When you live in a house long enough, the rooms evolve into what they want to be. I can’t tell you how many of my rooms have fought me from becoming what I first intended and once they settled themselves, didn't want to be anything else.)

My friend, Linda, told me that the decorating choices you make usually have a reason…and I am leaning how to track down the memory that is stirred and enjoy it double, then and now.

The fireplace room is a tiny piece of my grandparent’s house in McBain, Michigan. A 1920’s to 40’s feel. It has a generous arts and crafts rocking chair similar to the chair that my grandmother rocked three times to push her over-plump body to her swollen feet. It has tall dark plant stand like the one by the seldom used front entry door. I remember wormy squiggly catus plants and other succulents with leathery leaves and snake plants and African violets in the entry way. (Up in the attic was a dried money plant and a vase of scary looking peacock feathers whose eyes terrified me as a little girl...I think I’ll go buy some…)

There was an old waterfall floor radio that made static or high pitched whiney noises when we tried to push the buttons or turn the knobs. I have a small 1920 retro radio that makes the same wonderful click when you turn it on.

My grandparents had a scratchy platform rocker in pinkish beige. I too have an old platform rocker in unfortunate green and gold stripes of a slightly more modern pattern but the right colors for my room. There was a small old book case with a glass door behind the rocking chair with wonderful saintly old books that my sisters would read on every visit. My fireplace room has a small bookcase with nothing published too recently.

I don’t have the cabbage roses on my carpet…and they didn’t have a fireplace. But they had a TV with rabbit ears. And I have my computer. The fireplace comes from other happy memories…

I don’t think I knew my grandparents as people very well, but I experienced a gentle contentment in their house that was a buffer from my real world that was heading toward the 1960’s and my personal world in which I would soon be a teenager. In my fireplace room, I created for myself a little of the magic that lived at my grandma’s house, a place caught between the marvels of electricity and homemade bread with jam every morning.

What is your favorite room?

Love,
Mary

Summoning God

2009-03-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

Spring has come. Birds are singing outside our bedroom window in ways that make it very hard to get up. I just want to snuggle back down and listen. They make rotten alarm clocks.

I think about things...usually at 3:00 in the morning... fun things that I bat back and forth in my head until I arrive at the comforting conclusion that I don't have to understand everything about God and the universe and go gracefully back into that good night.

What! You don't have these early morning conversations with yourself! I forget that I am a 5 on the Enneagram scale. If you don't like nocturnal musings of a paradoxical nature you may want to leave this posting now...don't say I didn't warn you.

Here it is.

On the wall in the chapel where I receive spiritual direction is a sign. "Bidden, or not bidden, God is present." Jung popularized the saying, but it was discovered among the Latin writings of Erasmus. "Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit."

I find great solace in that sign for many reasons. It reminds me that God is sovereign, "above all praise", whose omniscience and omnipotence reach to the farthest imaginable recesses of this world. Those are good Calvinist words.

In response, all I can do is "come as I am," for it is I who need to be summoned. I need the grace to prepare and open my heart for the God who is already present because of the work of Jesus' death and resurrection. I am the one who needs to come close to celebrate his presence and to receive all he has for me, and ask for the grace to bring down barriers that block his presence from my life.

And yet, so often in church I sense we are waiting for God to "show up." How can that be? When we call on God, what happens? When we wait on God, what is it we do? I can feel so forlorn in those situations when we are singing, clapping, waiting for some movement from God. I look around me. Everyone seems to be trying so hard to bring God. Ernest, sincere people, hungry for God. Every week is the same. Desperate for God to come. And every week, I wonder who is summoning whom. (or is it "who.")

What if He is already there waiting for us...even before we begin to sing? What if all we needed to do is open our hearts to the loving Presence that is already waiting for us? Ready to bless, instruct, convict, heal...

Whom exactly are we calling to worship?

“Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.”

Obviously, I need to think about this some more - realizing that it might just be semantics that I have become sensitized to or perhaps one of those paradoxes that I will have to accept - probably at 3:00 some morning.

Love you,

Mary

The New Bed

2009-02-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

Cal and I have become stars in our own info commercial.

We wear the glazed look of converts as we say things like "amazing", "incredible", "I never dreamed...," "isn't this wonderful?"

Yep, you've got it right. We have a new mattress. Not only do we have a new mattress, but it's one of those new fangled memory foam thingabobs. We haven't danced on the mattress balanced with a glass of Cal's latest homemade wine come - of - age. At least not yet. But we are inspired and who knows where that will lead.

Memory form is not for everyone. My sister-in-law Faith wonders what will happen when it loses its memory and turns into Alzhiemers foam. We'd heard many stories of people returning them to the manufacturers unable to get used to the sinking feeling of being trapped in foam. Cal and I tried them out in showrooms and noticed that turning over DID take extra effort as there is no spring in the mattress to help bounce you over. It kind of feels like fighting your way out of a snow drift. So we wondered if memory foam would be for us....

This is our first queen sized mattress. (What was good enough for our parents was good enough for us, right?) So now we can luxuriate in an extra foot or so of wiggle room. Not to mention that I bought a puffy pillow mattress cover and Egyptian cotton sheets that feel like silk....and a platform bed frame and new bedspread...and new window treatments... in honor of the new mattress. So our investment was substantial. We were rightfully nervous.

All is well. Two nights in our new bed have made believers of us. We are memory foam kind of people. Our money was well spent. Our dreams of support and comfort realized. We threw caution to the wind and gambled in the high stakes world of bedding and won.

Ah-h-h-h-h.

See you on late night cable.

The One Thing

2009-02-20T06:34:00.000-08:00

I think one of the things I enjoyed most about being on the road last summer was that all of life seemed to be part of a whole. Everything was geared to "the Ride." Ronald Rolheiser writes about that kind of focus in his book "The Holy Longing." He writes that Mother Theresa's incredible focus on the "one thing" made her a very powerful and compelling woman. That's how saints are made.

Curly in "City Slickers" agrees. The secret to life is "one thing." That's why we write vision statements and goals. To try to keep us focused on the "one thing."

Modern life doesn't allow us the luxury of living for one thing. (Unless we live in a monastery and even then!) Multi tasking is prized. Opportunities are rampant. Needs are clammering. The temptation is to do everything - or nothing. To be frantic or overwhelmed. Or both. I recognize the condition. I recognize how fragmented I live. And I don't have an answer.

I started receiving spiritual direction again. It is good to gather all my fragments under God's umbrella again for mending and sorting and being made again into a whole. As Christ Followers, the Bible asks us to return to our first love. (That image doesn't work for me. I found first love to be very fragmenting! Maybe I'm getting too old to enjoy the thought!) But to return to the "one thing." Yes. I get that. I need to redirect my heart to the "One Thing." And I'm finding that it takes an act of Will and Choice. Prayer keeps me focused on the "One thing" and slowly all the other things find their place. Duty to myself, duties to others, duties to God all slowly take their place. Did I say slowly?

But Gosh, I fight that. There must be some fun in being fragmented. Being pulled apart. Or the deception of it - that we are needed. Wanted. Important. Free. Immediate.

Lent starts next week. I wish you all a season of returning to the "One Thing."

Love,
Mary

Routine

2009-02-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

In response to my daughter, Rae...no pressure. I love you all. I just have to remember to write what's in my head apart from what you might like to hear.

I miss being on the road and writing about each day's adventure because my life is really quite routine....although, I did read a book about a guy who walked across Spain on a pilgrimage...that gets my blood flowing again!

Hope you all are having adventures today, wherever you are.

Love,
Mary

RSL

2009-02-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

Good Morning, Everyone! I like to pretend no one is out there when I write, but since I know Cher and Gretchen are keeping tabs, I greet you all.

And I do mean GOOD Morning! I wish you all the goodness this morning can hold.

Last week I started taking meds for restless leg syndrome which I knew I had, but had no idea of how much it was effecting my sleep. I knew I was a restless sleeper (and reader. Cal teases me about how I flop from one side to the other every time I turn a page... KerTHUMP) but I didn't realize that I wasn't sleeping like I should. I often marked the hours in bed and sometimes I would try to guess how long ago it was that I had last looked at a clock. If it was more than two hours, I would figure that I must have slept or "passed the time in a semi-unconscious state" - my definition of sleep. I count it a good night if I remembered only waking two or three times.

About 8:00 at night, my legs would start moving. I would swing them, kick them, jump from chair to couch, wiggle my feet, stretch my legs and rub them. Antsy. People who have this syndrome try to describe the sensation in all kinds of ways - tugging, tightening, crawling... the legs want to move to alleviate the sensation.

I remember the all night plane ride to Europe was hell. Since I couldn't move in those tiny seats, I became claustrophobic and I had to breathe deep and talk myself out of panic. Movie theaters are another place that occasionally become torture. I remember "Titanic" was especially unbearable. I never did like that movie - probably because they could move (even through they were drowning) and I couldn't. Other places, too...sometimes at the computer, in church, in the car....Cal can tell. He turns to me with a knowing look. "Restless Legs?"

It's so nice to finally be able to sit and lay quietly in one place without needing to dance around.
And to SLEEP.

I will never be a morning person, but when I am awake now, I really am awake. There's lots to be said for that.

Not only can I say "Good Morning" and mean it, I can also say "Good Night."

Love,
Mary

January Grumbles

2009-01-28T09:53:00.000-08:00

Today it's official. Winter may leave ANYTIME.

The frost has permeated my bones, creeping ever deeper into my very being. My body is tense with cold. I am loath to take off my coat when I am indoors. I swaddle my head with scarves that I bought in Italy like a mamamoushka, and suddenly Islamic women do not look strange to me...they look warm. I cradle my hands in my sleeves like a monk and shiver.

The cold runs deep into the insulation of the house and furnace works furiously to warm the air chilled by the walls. Fruitlessly, it seems to me. I'll keep my coat on, thank you. It will be mid summer before the walls (and I) warm up again and then the air conditioner will take its turn.

Even the fire from my beloved fireplace has nothing to spare for me- as if all its energy is needed to keep itself burning. Instead of flickering, I think the fire is shivering.

I look at the calendar and groan. As always, January has stalled.

Today I went to a sleep specialist. I've never been a good sleeper, but right now I diognosed the problem. I was made to hibernate until spring.

And good bear skin coat would be just the thing
for me to hibernate in 'til spring.

Just need to find me a cave.

My Barber Experience

2009-01-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Today my hair was cut by a barber.
"Trim er up"?
In my quest for a modest and basic life style, never had I expected this. I gulped.
"Sure."
I knew she was a barber because the last time at this walk-in hair establishment they had explained the difference to me. And I was charmed. What an interesting bit of trivia I knew!
Now my usual walk-in stylist was not there and I was stuck with "the barber" and I was not so charmed.
There was no small talk. She began spraying and combing through my hair with a frown.
"Are you checking the curl?" I asked hopefully.
"Nope. I always cut wet. Uncross your legs."
She carefully divided my hair into four textbook sections and began to snip. No questions. No comments about my hair color or the weather. Nothing. Snip. snip.
"Have you been slow this morning because of the snow?" It was snowing beautifully. A perfect January day if you liked snow.
"I hate snow."
"Do you have to travel?"
"Grinnell."
More methodical snipping. She never glanced at the mirror, or pushed a curl playfully to see what it would do. Conversation was obviously not her forte. It wasn't mine either, but I always tried to keep my stylist entertained. I got better haircuts that way. I suddenly missed my expensive stylist who just wanted me to be happy. And if you look good, they teach you in cosmetology school, you FEEL good. Obviously that is not part of the curriculum in barber school. This woman could care less if I felt good or not. I tried once more.
"If you could live somewhere warmer- where would it be?"
She didn't even entertain the thought. "I have no clue."
"Oh, come on...Atlanta?"
"Too hot."
I gave up and let her cut. Snip. Snip.
"There. All done. Look OK?"
I ran my fingers through my hair. Now this is where I usually reassure my stylist that it's really fine. EXACTLY what I wanted. I will really enjoy this haircut. It's changed my life! And she's happy that I'm happy and we all feel good.
"Sure." I said.
I gave her a big tip. Anyone as unhappy as she seemed to be needed a boost. And it was snowing.
Actually, it was a pretty good haircut too.

One Last Note from Mary

2008-10-06T10:56:00.001-07:00

Wed. morning, Sept 24 started just like everyday on the bike trip except for one thing...after Cal and Ron had their morning coffee and peddled off for another day of biking, I packed up the camper for the last time and drove home.

And that was the end of the Bike Trip for me.

I had nothing much to show for the past summer except a few rocks that I unceremoniously dumped with all my other rocks. I feared the mountain of mail waiting. My cats had peed in the corner of the living room, and I felt guilty about going back to work and facing the people I abandoned all summer.

My husband is gray and tan and skinny.

Yet It is right to be home now. I was satisfied that"the World is all that it should be." This summer is a gift with many layers that I am still unpacking. Cal and I still look at each other and say with wonder..."We did it!"

There is one last thing that I want to tell you...I wore one pair of black flipflops -which was as barefoot as I could safely get, the whole way across the United States.

And I love you.

Mary

Sentimental Journey

2008-09-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

This past week has been a such sentimental journey for me...I wasn't sure what to say in a blog.

Wisconsin feels like home. We moved to Wisconsin after living in Rock Valley, Iowa for the first two years of our marriage and I was so happy to be back in wooded terrain, I wrapped Wisconsin around me like a comfortor. I am happy and comforted to be back once again. Cal says simply, "I love Wisconsin."

My heart was in my throat I drove through the mist toward Mineral Point and Darlington, Wisconsin. The 18 months we lived there were highly formative. This was Cal's first job out of grad school and our first time alone in the big world that wasn't Dutch. We were both charmed and frightened. Very lonely at times and very happy at others. I remember a very harsh Wisconsin winter in a drafty old house upstairs apartment carrying my electric blanket from outlet to outlet, listening to the wind roar outside. (Yesterday, I was able to take pictures of the old place which has fallen into such disrepair that it is almost beyond rescue.) We had little money, but we had fun - iceskating on Yellowstone Lake, listening to deep sounds of clear ice cracking beneath our skates, the black trees silhouetted against the red winter sunsets. Everything was fun. Everything was new. The details I remember about that time and place are sharp and fine.

Finding a small church family in Gratiot, Wisconsin gave us roots while we lived in that area and beyond, and was an important lesson in how to find community away from home. Cal and I were growing up. It was to Darlington that Cal and I brought Rachel from the Madison Hospital - a new family. She was only 4 months old when we moved away - she doesn't remember, but Darlington is her town. All the waiting and worrying and longing was done there. The intense joy of adoption and the great loneliness of not being able to have children - both are Darlington.

I am glad to see that Darlington is prospering about as much as a small town in Southwest Wisconsin can.

Be sure to look for this courthouse in Johnny Depp's new movie Public Enemies. They filmed scenes at the Lafayette County Courthouse in Darlington less than a block from our apartment. The clock rang the hour.

We are now traveling roads in Illinois and Iowa that I have traveled before...to a funeral, on a retreat, to a family reunion, to visit friends, on bike rides... Ron is biking with Cal and that seems to make reentry into the familiar a little less of a shock.

We stayed in Palisades State Park near Savanna, Il last night...A wonderful camping and hiking park on the bluffs of the Mississippi. Tonight I am tromping in crunchy, colorful oak leaves on the Wapsipinacon River. The trees are tossing down leaves with every stir of breeze. Oh, acorns too. It smells like fall.

Thank God for memories.
Love,
Mary

Salem

2008-09-17T07:19:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your prayers. The route we took to Salem was residential the whole way and except losing Cal now and then, all went well. We celebrated our arrival in Salem with a nice motel and dinner and a down day absorbing the sights and sounds of Salem. Pulling and parking a camper through the streets of Salem was quite an experience. (And of course, now I am reading a biography of Nathaniel Hawthorne.) We had one last celebratory meal of fresh fish at The Captain's Waterfront Grill and Pub with a beautiful view of the harbor. And then goodbye to the east.

We are back in the Midwest after an allnighter across the eastern United States which took the stuffing right out of me. I am sitting on a couch at my brother-in-law, Philip's house in Dyer, Indiana barely able to move. Time to regroup for Part IV of the bike tour. Milwaukee to Pella.

Tonight we will be meeting our friend, Ron, who will be joining us for this last jog.
We will be traveling familiar terrain as Cal and I lived in Madison and Darlington, Wisconsin early in our marriage. It will be fun to see!

See you - SOON!
Love,
Mary

Satisfaction

2008-09-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

KOA Campground...$30.00

McDonalds extra value meal #2....$4.63

3 bicyles inner tubes...$19.13

Total Satisfaction...

PRICELESS

Mad Dash for the Sea

2008-09-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

We are sitting in a Super 8 Motel waiting for the rain to abate as we make our last mad dash for the sea. We have had trouble with the trailer lights...Cal has them working but they are very dim and that is frightening for me as we meet east coast traffic. This is the first time I have felt nervous about about driving with the camper. We carefully went over maps last night and picked out our roads to Salem. There are no direct routes- so we had to cut and paste our way to Salem. I am praying for guidance as I face this last challenge.

See you there!

Love,
Mary

I Don't Want To Talk About It

2008-09-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

First, let me remind you of the elvin woods where we stayed last night, the quiet deep dripping forest. Surely there were elves in that woods! We were serenaded by a breathy flute playing elvish music before we went to sleep at 10:00. It floated through the forest for about 5 minutes. Leaving the campground, I inspected each campsite trying to guess which one had gifted us with the flawless haunting melody. I didn't dream it. Cal heard it too!

The rest of the day I want to forget.

Love,
Mary

Massachusetts

2008-09-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

Do any of you get tired of computer passwords?!

One night, I am sleeping under a floodlight in a United Methodist Church Parking lot in the city and the next night, I am camping deep in a Berkshire Mountains forest with rain tapping on the camper. Never a dull moment... (Thank you Mckownville United Methodist Church for your interest in us and giving us such a prime location to stay. Remember - location is everything!)

I think Albany, New York is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever gotten lost in. Of course I got behind a bus and couldn't see the signs and got to see more of Albany than I really had planned to do. I told my sister, Marcia, that I am like a gerbil in a maze. Put me in one side of the city and I am bound to come out the other side if you wait long enough. (We won't talk about the intelligence quotient- only the satisfaction quotient.) Someday, I am going to come back to New York State and really visit - without the camper - and with a map. Anyway...

Now we are Massachusetts. If you are following on a map we are heading north on highway 112 to highway 2 and taking highway 2 tomorrow to Fitchburg or thereabouts - some heavy duty mountain biking for Cal and lots of pretty sites for me. I am pleased to see the mountains one last time on our trip. I asked Cal what he thought about being in the mountains again and he's happy about it too. Lovely and less traffic.

We have Salem in our sites. Now - if it will just stop raining....

Love,
Mary

Golden September

2008-09-10T17:42:00.000-07:00

It was a golden fall day and one of the most pleasant driving days that I've had. There was a little more space to breathe between charming towns and traffic lights. I would highly recommend New York for you biking enthusiasts. Good biking lanes, great stopping stops, and fairly easy terrain. There were pretty demanding drivers in the western part of the state, but they seemed to be a lot more relaxed in central New York, even kind. People here are almost stunned that anyone would attempt to bike across the United States. Out west, it was more accepted as a normal thing to do.

I also want to record that last night's shower in a campground in Montezma stunk. It was so full of sulfur- it smelled like rotten eggs. I am sure it had healing properties of some sort, but I had to hold my nose to wash my face. It's not an easy thing to do.

I was able to relax a little and take a few pictures this evening. Our campground is a Herkimer diamond mine and tomorrow I hope to take some time and look at their rock store. I love rocks...not to wear, but because they are so old and it's like holding history in the palm of your hand. Each one is work of art by nature. I like to pick up rocks along the way on our trips and just put them in the garden. I know some people take the time to label where they got them. I really don't care. I like the fact they just jumble together with my everyday stones and I can't always tell which is which. I still know they're there.

A perfect September day. Hope yours was as well.
Peace,

Mary

Erie Canal Lock

2008-09-09T18:15:00.001-07:00

Buffalo

2008-09-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

Grace

2008-09-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come...

I find myself singing these words of Amazing Grace.

The morning starts with rain. Cal is struggling. I am struggling because he is struggling. We try not to lean on each other, but sometimes it takes two to make it fun. I bring Cal back to where he called it a day yesterday with a flat tire, then pack the camper and head for Rochester. Immediately I get a call from Cal to tell me that the trail is not well marked and to get through Rochester anyway I can. Ok. I did it in Buffalo, I can do it in Rochester.

I try to follow the highway route as long as I can but am lost in the first 5 minutes and end up going through the middle of the city. It looks like a great place, but I am the only person in downtown Rochester with a travel trailer and am feeling a bit out of place. I wander up and down streets, checking my directions, and finally just decide to head south and occasionally east just to see what happens. In the meantime, Cal calls and tells me he has another flat and he is lost and trying to figure out a way though the city. I don't know where he is and I don't know where I am. So I finally reach a south suburb of the city where I can pull off and ask. Miracle of miracles, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Now I know where I am...if we can just figure out where Cal is...!

To make my story short and sweet, let me tell you that we finally met at some locks on the Erie Canal where I was able to watch the locks work! I had seen locks on the Mississippi before, but never on this small scale, a very nice addition to my day...and my husband was taking this troubled day in stride with his warrior angels at his side. Go Cal!

For those of you who are following us on a map we are still on Highway 31 near Port Byron, New York.

I will work on some pictures and get them posted unless Cal comes riding in.

Fall is here! Leaves are falling from the early trees - enough to speckle the road with yellow. New York State is indeed beautiful.

...Grace has brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home!

Love,
Mary

Reporting from the Road

2008-09-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

Reporting from the road...Highway 31 to be exact, following bike route 5, along the old Erie Canal. City- Medina.

Who made it through Buffalo this morning with a map with no street names, only landmarks, and is very proud of herself? Who loves Upper New York State?

It is a beautiful morning after the rain yesterday. Downtown Buffalo has great architecture and I really enjoyed the adventure of winding my way north through the city with no idea of where I was, and only a vague idea of where I needed to be. Cal was taking a bike trail through the city so I was on my own. It was great fun.

The little towns along Highway 31 are all picturesque and the road, (I watch roads for Cal's sake. - he has his own lane here and it is clearly marked) is great. I would highly recommend New York State routes for biking. I think I could live here.

Laundry and groceries are next on my to do this. Finding places to stay out east has not as easy as it was in the west. No camping on route. I'll be working on this today, too.

Canada ll

2008-09-07T12:19:00.001-07:00

That, I, who handled Italy with such aplomb, should feel shy in Canada is too funny. We are too alike to be so different. I keep nervously checking my p’s and kilometers. For those of you certain I’d be into Tim Horton’s before we crossed the border into Canada, I must disappoint you. I was always in the wrong lane or Cal was waiting for me or something. But just as we were about to cross over the Peace Bridge, I made my mad dash for a Tim Horton mocha. Whew! Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Canada is pretty like Michigan is pretty -borders of trees surrounding the edges of crop fields like watchful sentinels waiting to take back the land when the farmer's head is turned- but there have been challenges here. Winds of Gustav blew over us and beat on Lake Erie. I have seen Lake Michigan blue, green, and gray, but never brown and whipped into froth like Lake Erie. It was a strange feeling day… And then came the night and the rain. I was very thankful for our off-the-ground camper unlike the college boys in the next campsite who were celebrating their last free weekend in tents. And wet.

The Christian Reformed Church of Wallaceburg rescued us the first night in Canada. We were misinformed about where there was camping, and had no place to rest our weary wheels. We finally cashed in Cal’s years as a CRC pastor’s kid and the church took pity on us and let us park in her parking lot for the night. (Churches are girls.) We are grateful.

I am quite upset about the infestation of Gypsy Moths on all kinds of trees in Canada. I inspected one of the webby things that Gustav had blown out of a tree. It was crawling with tiny hungry caterpillars. No wonder they destroy trees. It was a wide spread infestation – everywhere I looked. I hope they can get it under control. And before it is too late.

Last night was our last night in Canada. I can’t help but remember our dear Canadian friend, Ron, who has lived in Iowa and put up with us in the States since college. O Canada…

Cal biked across the Peace Bridge into the States today. As we crossed the bridge, it started pouring again and so we are turning the rest of this day in Buffalo into a rest day.

Much love,

Mary

O Canada

2008-09-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

Blankie Lady and Canada

2008-09-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

There must be a competition between the United Methodist Churches in Michigan about who can be the friendliest. Pastor Michael explained to me that the United Methodist pastors were circuit preachers in the distant past and depended on the hospitality of others and so their roots are deep in hospitality. We met the Blankie Lady who makes little lap quilts for Alzheimer patients - full of color and texture and comfort. Country Woman magazine did an article on her and I will post her contact information later. I see a future in ministry with bicyclists as their little town, North Branch, is on the Adventure Cycling maps. They are already great at it!

Neighbors of the church came to offer us protection and help.

Today we are scheduled to take a ferry at Marine City into Canada. We will have limited contact while we are there because of roaming charges so if you don't hear from us for a couple of days, panic not. I compare it to the astronauts in their spaceship on the far side of the moon when they would lose contact with earth for a bit.

My heart is leaning toward home at last. I will enjoy these last states but as Mary Poppins said to Uncle Albert and Bert and Michael and Jane having tea while floating in the air near the ceiling. "It's time to go home."

I am writing this on the road so I will post pictures and other tidbits later.

Spoiled Rotten

2008-09-02T14:41:00.001-07:00

Up to this point, I would say we would have lived a - well, limited life on the road, but the last couple of days in Michigan I would say that we have been spoiled rotten. After a luxurious night in a Holiday Day Express in Grand Rapids, (the soap smelled like cloves...that will wake you up!) and a breakfast reception at Pine Rest that was full of kindness and support. (We were even assured that this foolish bike ride might smack of God who uses such for his glory. That was a great relief for me.) Many thanks, Pine Rest, for the great reception and all your words of encouragement. Cal really does love you guys!

I need to put a plug in for Carson City United Methodist Church. What hospitality! Never has a cold cup of water been given with so much laughter and insight! We pray a blessing on that church and her new pastor, Andy. And a big thank you to Amy who understands what camping is all about and is not afraid to offer everything to the stranger in need.

And now I am parked downtown in a sweet little town called North Branch where we will be spending the night at a United Methodist church parking lot here. For those of you who like maps, we took highway 57 across the central part of Michigan. From North Branch, we once again will be using Adventure Cycling bike maps which will take away some of the stress of traveling unknown roads. We will keep you informed.

Our new friend today was Gus, the Sara Lee Delivery Man, who we met during Cal's break in a Dollar General parking lot. I wish we had taken his picture. He was full of curiosity about what we were up to and offered us some hot dog buns. One more example of Michigan hospitality.

Michigan is a great place to watch fall approach. I see the occasional sumac turning red and the maples are beginning to think about it. The sides of the road are rich with golden rod and blue chicory and the brown of dried Queen Ann's Lace. I think that it will only be getting better as we continue east.

The children in Michigan had their first day of school and as one Kindergarten teacher told me, the heat was "yucky."

Joy to all of you and thank you for keeping us in your prayers.
Mary

Celebrations in Michigan

2008-09-01T17:37:00.000-07:00

How much can happen in just a few days! We drove to Kalamazoo, Michigan on Friday for my sister's wedding on Saturday. We popped up the camper in my other sister's driveway. (Yes, I now have 3 sisters living in Kalamazoo. ) It was a lovely wedding - held as the sun was dropping in the west, in a garden setting, complete with little girls in flowered sundresses and ladies in vintage lace. I have so many wonderful pictures of family and friends and wish I could post them all but I will have to settle for these few. The wedding was an odd but nice bookend to Part ll of the Bike Ride. And on Sunday we rested and dined with my Father and sister, Joy, at their house.

Up early on Labor Day, I drove Cal and my brother-in-law, Don, to Muskegon to start Part lll of the Renewing Spirits Bicycle Tour. I think Cal enjoyed biking with company for a change and while Don and Cal biked, I checked into a motel in Grand Rapids and and promptly climbed into bed for a quick nap. (Weddings are pretty tiring.) Rachel, my daughter, and I were together in the afternoon and we were joined by her husband, Justin, and Cal for dinner - a nice break from my typical days on the road. Tomorrow morning there will be a reception at Pine Rest before Cal and Don start their ride to Carson City. Another Celebration. And tomorrow, my sister, Marcia, will help me discover some more of Michigan along the way. I traveled very little in Michigan - especially in central Michigan - while I was growing up, so many of the things I will be seeing will be new to me.

So we start the third section of the bike ride. - No more 50 miles between towns. Lots of trees, lots of traffic, and lots of people will give a whole different feel to Part lll. I am interested to see how Cal and my system will work in this new venue.

Congratulations to Gayle and John E!

Love,

Mary

Linda's Little Bit of Heaven

2008-08-27T16:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Everyone,

Let me catch you up. We are back in Iowa! We spent our first night in Iowa in a fair campground in Grundy Center. Their county fair is this weekend and everyone was setting up for the big week. It was a nice experience. I can't believe I can now drive into a town and not know where I will setting up camp and not feel anxious. The hobo persona is truly taking hold. It was a long hard day for Cal, but we wanted to be close to Des Moines for a short ride the next day where we knew Linda's little bit of heaven was waiting for us.

We spent two nights at Linda and Larry's gracious house. Talk about deep relaxation! I spent time following Linda's cocker, Gracie, around trying get her to smile for the camera, but Gracie has her own doggy life and doggy things to do. Cal did not bike to Pella as planned this morning, but when we complete Part lV, he will bike from Pella to Des Moines for the victory lap and celebrate with a pasta dinner at Linda's Little Bit of Heaven.

Now I am home in Pella (everything looks great at the house! the cats are ho-hum about our return) and I am a familiar state of confusion about why I am here and what I need to do next to get ready for the Wedding and plan for Part lll of the Renewing Spirits Bicycle Tour - from Muskegon, Michigan to Salem, Massachusetts. The fog will clear soon and I will start my listmaking, but I do need to switch from Hobo Mode to Wedding Mode!

Michigan to Massachusetts will once again be new territory to explore even though I was raised in Michigan, I will be seeing it with new eyes and in a new way just like I did Iowa.

Hope you are all well!

Love,

Mary

It's beginning to look like Iowa

2008-08-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Well, Fellow Adventurers,

We are on the downward slope of our Western adventure. Iowa is just across the border. We are in Blair, Nebraska camped in a city park. Once again, we have trains to keep us company all night, but the shower at the park was one of the best I've had, and the car got a bath too.

It's beginning to look a lot like Iowa....

I am feeling much better today. Yesterday I fought the noon day demon. The unending road.

Monday night we plan to be in Des Moines, visiting with Linda and Larry S and then a victory lap into Pella, and I will start getting ready for a trip to my sister's wedding in Kalamazoo and to see my daughter and son-in-law, and all my family. A more civilized way of life is on the agenda for a bit until we hit the road again after the wedding.

However- for tomorrow morning, I did see an espresso shop downtown. That's always a good sign.

Love,

Mary

Humphrey, Nebraska - August 22

2008-08-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

Today we are in Humphey, Nebraska, a little somewhere off Highway 91. It's a lovely little town. I went past a Catholic School were all the children were in blue and white school uniforms playing outside at recess. Hearing children play is such a comforting sound when you are feeling rootless. The days all begin to look alike out here in Nebraska and I am getting a bit numb. Today I crashed. I put up the camper and fell into a deep sleep for a couple of hours. Cal rode in but I was beyond caring and slept some more. The world could have ended and I would happily have gone on sleeping. I was that tired. So this is my day off. Tomorrow will be a shorter day, mile wise, and I can catch up on the laundry and other camp duties. The car is covered with dust and dirt. Everything is. We all need a good soak.

We have stayed at so many different churches and they all have a different character. You can't tell from the outside of the church, but go inside and there are clues all over the place. What's important to them, creativity, population...and then you meet the pastor and sense where he or she fits into the mix. I love the variety of expression of faith...all trying to do "church" in the way they understand best.

Cal took the some photos that capture the sandhills the best... the end of the Sandhills and Iowa is not far away!

Tidbits

2008-08-20T15:22:00.000-07:00

Interesting fact about Nebraska- About 100 years ago, Dr Bessey decided that trees once grew on the sandhills and should again. Today Nebraska sports a 20,000 acre man made forest at Halsey, Nebraska. The Nebraska National Forest. What is it good for? Habitat and Recreation. I thought it might be good for showers too, but no such luck.

The sandhills of Nebraska are fascinating. Huge waves of light fine sands anchored by a thin layer of growth, someone called it switch grass, and prairie flowers and sandburs. With a heavy rain, a gully washer, the sand is exposed, thus, the story of the wise and foolish man is played out in Nebraska. Without that layer of grass, I picture a sea of sand somewhat like the Sahara Desert. And with a wind like today, I imagine terrible sandstorms. I have tried to take pictures of them, but the camera doesn't quite capture it. I'll keep trying.

Did you know that train engineers switch shifts right in the middle of the prairie? They pick up their lunch pails and thermos and walk away from the train to a waiting pickup. One of them, I saw, had on bib overalls but he didn't have a matching hat or red bandanna. One more fantasy bites the dust, in this case, the sand.

We took a 150 mile side trip to Grand Island, Nebraska to get Cal's bike wheel fixed. They have a beautiful downtown with great possibilities but it was rather quiet due to commercial sprawl. While we waited, we had coffee at the Blue Moon Coffee Shop. Cal checked his work e-mail while I read a children's book of jokes and riddles -(like "what musical instrument does a skeleton play?" "A tromBONE".) much to his annoyance. I think children need to learn more jokes and riddles.

When this you see-
remember me.

Love,
Mary

Bernie's Supply

2008-08-20T15:08:00.000-07:00

We’ve chosen a solitary way to bike across the country, thus, the good folks we meet along the way are really appreciated. Unfortunately, we often make their acquaintance in time of need. Cal needed a repair on his bike yesterday morning which led us to Bernie’s Supply in Alliance. (Their sign says if we don’t have it, you don’t need it.) I met Cal in Alliance and while Cal talked with Dennis, I visited with his sister-in-law. She has recently visited Clinton, Iowa, and flew to Ohio-Big trips for someone who hasn’t done much traveling (first time in a plane) but she has relatives in every place I mentioned to her! Great people.

Three Angels In One Day

2008-08-18T12:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Armchair Adventurerers,

A day of high adventure here on the plains.

First of all, Lusk, Wyoming is now on my list of civilized places. They have a drive-through espresso stand- first one I've seen in all of Wyoming. Secondly, we crossed the Nebraska state line and immediately the shoulders of the road grew broad and the road had stones in it that shimmered like diamonds in the sun. I thought Cal was going to kiss the road.

We stopped at Ft Robinson State Park for lunch. I need to read more about it -Crazy Horse was killed there - but the old buildings are gracious with grand old trees. You can stay at the lodge or in the officers quarters. There are museums to visit, camping, activities and it's only 50 miles from the Black Hills. And can handle large groups. Sounds like a great place for a family reunion if you can get people to drive to Nebraska without complaining. Sorry Norma.

Then I passed an old cemetery that I wanted to check out and did a u-ie and got stuck in the mud of a soft shoulder. Immediately an officer was there and told me that he had a tow rope but he couldn't use it-Wink Wink. I said I understood and waited as he quickly looped a rope around my hitch and pulled me out. Have a good day. Ma'am. Yes Sir!

Earlier a woman caught up with me in traffic and told me that I had left a stabilizer on the camper down. Two angels in one day!

Now we are camped by a beautiful big pumpkin patch in back of a United Methodist Church in Hemingford, Nebraska. They had an empty lot facing the main street that was full of weeds so they planted Indian corn, pumkins and squash and plan to have a celebration with the children. Children come to visit the pumpkins patch just to watch them grow. How wonderful is that! The pastor is a very nice lady who is also a ventriloquist. She had a children's minstry and the powers-that-be asked her to fill a pulpit here in Hemingford. That was 6 years ago. We are so grateful for her kindness to us.

That makes three angels!

I think school started here today. I see children with backpacks and the school crossing lights are flashing.

Today was the kind of day that makes up for missing the Olympics.

Blessings!
Mary

Trains

2008-08-17T14:15:00.000-07:00

Casper - What can I say. Too big to have a sense of humor about itself. Too small to be Really Something. They have a mall where I waited for an hour and 1/2 to get a haircut and had pleasant conversations with the locals. I am amazed what you hear in a wait-your-turn hair salon! People were nice but in a hurry. Even the traffic seemed frantic. We camped in a downtown United Methodist church parking lot. I expected it to be noisy, but I began to wonder if ANYONE in Casper had mufflers on their pickups. It was Saturday night and the local cowboys were out cruising. Impressive.

Today the weather was beautiful and the sky as blue as I remembered it from before- with puffy little clouds that look like smoke signals. Cal put in 111 miles and is fine. I keep a close eye on him while he is getting back into shape and I have been doing more waiting at meeting spots to check on his progress. But I always find something fun to do. I am reading "Undaunted Courage." A biography about Merriweather Lewis.

The new theme for this trip is Trains. They are everywhere here! I had no idea trains were used anymore! Since the tracks in Pella were taken out, I'd forgotten forgot all about them. I thinkI might like to take a train trip sometime. I can hear the whistles in the background even as I write this.

Tonight we are camping in a campground in Lusk, Wyoming - 22 miles from the border of Nebraska.

Oh, and a little note to Me...Just thought you should know that Cal has been offered senior citizens discounts twice since we start the bike tour.

2008-08-16T09:51:00.000-07:00

1st Day

2008-08-15T13:28:00.000-07:00

Friday, August 16

It rained in the early morning hours and the cottonwoods smell heavenly. Like someone baking with cinnamon. Spicy and Sweet. I didn't know cottonwood could smell like that.

Both Cal and I were a little nervous as we drove back to Smokey the Bear (by the way - the fire danger is VERY HIGH today) to begin the ride.

Today's drama was the weather. The Wyoming sky is so big you can see all kinds of weather going on. It was cold and we could see that it had snowed up on the mountains. We had showers on and off all day. This is the first time Cal has had to bike in rain this whole trip. Now the sun is shining on our camper which is set up in the parking lot of a little Baptist Church and about 65 degrees. I can see a storm and hear thunder somewhere off in the distance - but like I said, it's a really big sky and it's hard to tell if it's coming this way.

Cal has lots of thoughts about this first day back on the road so read his blog!

The only new thing I am dealing with is mud.

So good to have all of you along again for company.

Love,
Mary

Innocence Lost

2008-08-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

Thursday, August 14

I am sitting in a lovely cottonwood grove in a campground near Cal's Ground Zero (Dubois, Wyoming). The air is bright, light and cool. The only sound is the wind through the trees and birds. I confess it was not easy getting to this point again. I was crabby for the two days before we left and yet, I am uneasy. Maybe "burned" would be a better word. I scan highways for broad shoulders and rumble strips instead of carefreely soaking in the sights. Today we spent time rehashing the accident and retracing the trail. And now we are here. I am surprised how conflicted I still feel and pray I will be able to let go and enter into the adventure again soon.

The temperature tonight will be 41 degrees!

Yesterday we traveled through the sandhills of central Nebraska instead of taking the mighty 80 across and I took solace in taking pictures of coal trains stretched across the sand hills of
Nebraska with an ominous thunderstorm lurking in the background. We were checking out the roads Cal will be biking on in Nebraska and I like this part of Nebraska very much. The sand hills are peaceful and soothing.

We drove through rain and lighting and hail and reached our destination for the night- Crawford, Nebraska, a broken down little town on the edge of uniqueness - but we didn't know that until morning. It was dark and wet when we set up the camper in the city park, unaware the campgrounds were right next to the tracks. The trains whistled -loudly- all night long. Cal wore ear plugs. I would rather listen to the trains.

We have some long days ahead of us. Tomorrow we stay at a little Baptist Church in Shoshoni. I am not sure where we will stay yet in the dreaded Casper. I don't like Casper and I hope something happens to change my opinion. I will be updating this post with more pictures soon but right now my internet connect is being subborn and I am not staying online.

Love,
Mary

Something Told the Wild Geese

2008-08-05T16:32:00.000-07:00

Meanwhile back at the Bookstore...

I have been working with Lana at the Bookstore since I've gotten back. It's nice to have another English major around. But there is much to learn in a Bookstore that has nothing to do with books. Ask Lana.

I wonder... when Rosa has all her employees back and when she is fully staffed again, I wonder what she will do for fun? I would like to promise that I will never do this to her again. I would LIKE to....

My walk today told me that Summer has turned the corner. Despite the hot, hot, humid day yesterday and the thunderstorm last night...Summer is going down. The sun is hot, the water feels great, but don't get too comfortable because something new is right around the corner! What is that poem I learned as a child? Ah, yes...Something told the wild geese. It's last lines go

...Something told the wild geese

It was time to fly -

Summer sun was on their wings,

Winter in their cry.

I was ready for some summer snow in the mountains, but the shorter days of September seem like a strange time to be on a bike ride. But I am getting ahead of myself.

Our bike ride has another bizarre twist in it in order to save money and time and attend my sister's wedding and yet bike every mile we had planned... We will bike as far into Iowa as we can and then drive to Michigan for my sister's wedding. We will take off from Muskegon and ride to the Salem, Massachusetts, drive back to Milwaukee, and bike from Milwaukee back to where we left off in Iowa. We miss the ferry ride across Lake Michigan but Cal wasn't going to bike that anyway. Got that???? Don't worry, I'll lead you through it as we go.

I watched Lars and the Real Girl last night. It was the second time I've seen it. Anybody else a fan? It's a real therapy movie.

Ciao, Dear Ones
Mary

He Has To Try

2008-07-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

He has to try.

This is the way it stands. The doctors have given their OK as long as Cal realizes that he will probably experience pain. As long as he can't re-injure anything and his bones will continue to heal on the bike ride, what's a little pain? Right? So...the final decision is up to him. As it stands, we will leave August 13 for Wyoming and start the trip August 15 - exactly 6 weeks from the day of his accident. And as he said in one of his blogs, he may have to reply on experience and a good attitude since all of his re-training will be done on the road.

Realizing that Cal can pull the plug at anytime, I am getting back into preparation mode, but there are very few things I will do differently. What took 6 months of thinking last time will only take a day or two. Now that's what I call a Learning Curve!

Here are a few more rules of the road that I picked up along the way.

Bagels work better than bread and cream cheese better than butter.
You don't need a spray shower.
Use as few dishes as necessary. Like NONE.
One coffee cup is all a person needs. (See blog entitled "PART ll").
Block ice is much better than cubed.
Nobody really cares what you look like.
It's important to hum Great is Thy Faithfulness while hitching up the camper.

...And there are a few other things that I learned that you'd rather not know about.

This time we will have some new things to learn about. Humidity. Mud. Rain. Pain. And People. (We will be in more populated areas out east.)
...And this time we will be developing our own route from biking maps...not following a preplanned trail which is an adventure in itself. I love maps.

One of the last things that Cal remembers seeing before he fell in Wyoming was a Smokey the Bear Cutout that held a sign that said that FIRE DANGER WAS...HIGH...TODAY. Cal and I both saw the sign and both thought, "How can it be 'high'? Wyoming has had more rain than usual this year!"

That will be our starting point to begin the adventure once again. See you there!

14 days and counting.

Love,
Mary

On the Road Again?

2008-07-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

On the road again
Like a couple of gypsies we go down the highway
We're the best of friends...

It's really hard for me to write a blog without the daily travel to keep me going, but if Cal has his way - it won't be that way for long. If he can get his doctor's ok, Cal is ready to hit the road again at the 6 week point. Of course, he has to prove to all of us that his shoulder will be able to take the pounding that it will receive while riding a bike, but his recovery has been amazing.

Some things will be easier this time. Cal finished the mountains and he can build up his muscles again riding in the plains. We still have the camper and all the equipment we need and the know-how to use it. Our jobs are still flexible at this point. However, we also have some new wrinkles to deal with...my sister's wedding in Michigan Labor Day weekend and good old fashioned fear of getting back on the horse. Someone asked me if I will be more anxious this time...

...I'm sure that I will hover a bit more and that I will be glad to get to states that have better cell phone coverage, but I can't do this trip worrying about what might happen. I spent enough of my life worrying. God gets bigger as I get older.

Fall is my favorite season and I like the thought of traveling into late summer and then being home to enjoy October. I hope it happens. We'll know soon.

On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again,
And I can't wait to get on the road again.

Me and Willie.

Blessings to all of you - wherever you are.
Love,
Mary

Crazy

2008-07-23T16:14:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should change the subtitle of the blog to "Seeing Life - One Day At A Time" - now that I am once again "Mary - Humble Book Buyer" and not "Mary - Scout and Wagon Mistress." But before I change anything, I must tell you that Cal woke up this morning thinking he would like to complete the ride later this summer. This is the first time he has even entertained the possibility, and in the meantime, I had my good cry and gave up the trip for this year. My energy level has reached a new low. I'll be honest. It sounded crazy.

Another thing that I noted while traveling back to Iowa: Iowa is pretty. Not blow-away pretty like the mountains, but everyday pretty. Gentle and lush and rolling pretty. I grew up in Michigan and a tree covered landscape seems about right to me, but Iowa is pretty. That's nice to know.

I got an invitation to my oldest sister's wedding today to be held in August of this year in Michigan. My 90 year old father will be giving away the bride! Won't that be a picture!

Also in the meantime, we switched to cable instead of DSL and that will mean a new email address soon...

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support in the last couple of weeks. We are overwhelmed with people who stopped us on the street just to ask how it was going...
love to all of you...

Love,
Mary

According to Mary - PART ll

2008-07-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

Somethings never change. I still lose my coffee cup at work and I have 3 cups of coffee floating around the house at all times so I can take a sip when I need a "moment". Iced coffee has nothing on me...I've been drinking cold coffee for years.

This morning Cal is trying to go back to work for half a day. He is doing well but his shoulder tires easily and then the pain starts. I am fine...still a little listless and dreaming of other adventures - but take comfort in the fact that this is where road ended and this is where the adventure is to be found.

Friends have had interesting comments about the Accident. "God put up a really big STOP sign." (Although this accident happened in Wyoming where I saw stop signs that said WHOA instead. Ah, the wild west.) Another suggested Balaam and his Ass and I had a good laugh over a picture of Balaam flying over the ears of his stopped donkey the way that Cal flew over the bars of his bike. (Although I would hate for God to have been as annoyed with us as He was with Balaam. I pray that this is not so and that we were hearing him correctly. But if not, I am at peace with the fact that he got our attention and took care of the problem.) I trust that insight will be given when it is given. And here we are.

Here is a photo I took (and doctored up with a watercolor filter) of a little girl dancing to Steven Curtis Chapman "Dancing with Cinderella." It was a special performance for Father's Day at Florence Christian Church in Florence, Oregon, the first day of the trip.

Tomorrow is our 31st wedding anniversary. My memories are July afternoon, hot, and sick. Not pretty memories. We threw up all that 1st night.
But it had to get better. And it did.

Love,
Mary

Adieu

2008-07-17T07:52:00.000-07:00

Well, Friends, the travel blog is over.

It was so wonderful to have you along. I can honestly say that it would not have been as much fun without you! I am humbly proud of my accomplishments. Mastering a cell phone (sort of), hitching up a trailer (sort of), following in the footsteps of Lewis and Clark (sort of) and experiencing the wild west (sort of). I think I am a little braver as a person. Sort of.

Cal continues to heal. And I am emerging back into life in Pella, Iowa.

Some of my friends and family found this blog a convenient way to keep track of me since I am not very good at keeping people up to date about my life. So to my extended family and friends, I say, stayed tuned. I am not sure what there will be to write about... but if I learned anything about discovery, it's that it's unexpected. And therein lies the fun.

Great is Thy Faithfulness!
Love,
Mary

The Sermon

2008-07-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

The blues have kicked in. Or maybe it's called reality. I think most of you know what I mean. Cal will not heal as fast as he expected and after enjoying an outdoor life, I feel caged and weary. Unpacking was not as much fun as packing. But all of this is to be expected...that's the advantage of living life with a therapist. The spiritual challenge is to live in thanksgiving and trust while feeling sad and impatient.

Cal has been to the doctor and we saw x-rays again. Yikes! Worse than we thought.

As for my dear friend, Cher... can we blame you for this too?

I wonder things like... why is my house so big? And why do I need all this stuff? Why is modern life so complicated? The simplicity of taking care of daily needs is a lesson I want to be able to transfer to Pella and I am not sure how or that I can.

But the Lessons of the Road...that there are angels all around....that I can be concerned but I do not need to be anxious... that the Godly Life in all its variety is a beautiful thing.... that CNN's strange tabloid of War and Hatred is all the more strange when all I experienced on this trip was kindness and helpfulness... and that most people are just trying to find some happiness...these are things I want to transfer to my daily life wherever it may be. Christ's description of people as a flock without a shepherd really fits and the result is compassion. We, as Christians, often think that it is so obvious and easy...it's not. We need to make it obvious by loving life and each other with understanding and kindness. Simple kindness cannot be overrated. We are all travelers.

End of sermon. On to life.
Love,
Mary

Home and Healing

2008-07-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

Hi Everybody!
We are home in Pella. I'm sorry I didn't blog yesterday but after the doctor decided to let Cal leave the hospital - everything went so fast. His lung was stable - Thank you God.

We drove back to the area where the accident happened near Dubois, Wyoming before we started for home just to see if it would jog Cal's memory. He remembers EVERYTHING he saw....and then NOTHING...so we know pretty much where it happened...but we still don't know why and may never know. There were no clues there.

The trip home went very well...thank you for your prayers. His pain was manageable. Our most difficult problem was getting him in and out the bed in the hotel. And now we are home. How strange it feels. So familiar and yet so "not right." We aren't supposed to be here!

Right now I am feeling a little lost and I don't think even a hot shower will cheer me up.

The boys, Jeff and Jeff, left the house in amazing shape. Thank you so much guys! (My Jeff started his new job in Sioux Falls on Monday.)

I am hoping the adventure is not over....but Cal has a lot of healing to do before we will know what happens next. But we are home and healing and have so much to be thankful for... especially your friendship.

Love,
Mary

Another Day, Another X-ray

2008-07-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

They are keeping Cal for another day...the doctor is uncomfortable sending him off with a iffy lung. Tomorrows x-ray will tell the doctor if he needs to put in a tube and and if he does, we will be in Lander for a couple more days. He doesn't want to send us off to an emergency and I think that is wise. We've had enough adventure for now.

Mary

Joy in the Journey

2008-07-06T02:27:00.001-07:00

Thank you for coming alongside us.
Thank you for sharing our dream with us.
Your understanding and support means more than I can say out here in the middle of Wyoming. God has been so good to us with your notes and calls. I loved hearing from all of you.
You guys rock!

Joy in the Journey
Mary

Last Look - Wyoming

2008-07-06T01:47:00.000-07:00

Mountain Flower

2008-07-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

4th of July in Wyoming

2008-07-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Officer Shane from Dubois, Wyoming

2008-07-05T18:46:00.001-07:00

Quick Update

2008-07-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Cal walked!! They gave him a brace that holds his shoulders in place and it makes moving much less painful. I think they will release him from the hospital tomorrow. They gave him another shot of morphine and he is sleeping again. He looks much better than he did yesterday and spends most of his time sitting up. Stiffly, of course. His x-rays looked good. His body is in good shape because of all the biking he has done so that makes it easier for everyone...the doctors included.

I went back to Dubois and picked up his bike from the police office and met the officer who came after the 911 call. (Cal had a long ambulance ride over 50 - miles. They were quite concerned about how busted up he was and was glad that pain was his only problem. They said if he had not had his helmet on.... They said they thought the bike bounced a couple of times and yet the bike seems to be in pretty good shape. (I credit the gel seat Cal bought for the discomfort of his nether regions. )

Driving back over the hills of Wyoming to Dubois, I felt so sure that this ride will be completed some day. I slept well last night on a cot in Cal's room and seeing my husband sitting up and talking normally (after the morphine) was a real boost. I kept remembering what a great time we were having and how much I loved seeing the United States this way. I am sad and wish I were a little better at having a good cry, but this whole trip was built on the philosophy of "What is, is." This, too, is. I have felt angels all around us this trip and that has not changed. I have learned a lot about myself and God. Disappointment is part of that. When the darkness closes in Lord, still, I will say...

Love,
Mary

Adventures

2008-07-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we get to choose our adventures and sometimes they choose us. Cal is sitting up which yesterday seemed an impossibility. His stats fell a little during the night and they gave him oxygen because he was breathing shallowly, a common response to the pain. I think they are hoping to release him today but I think they are still wanting to do another x-ray because of a small pocket of air by his lungs called a pneumothorax that they are watching. We will make decisions about what happens next after we get permission to leave the hospital.
Keep posted.

Love,
Mary

Sad News

2008-07-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

Sad news. Cal had a bicycle accident and is in the hospital. I would like to say something brave and deep right now, but all I can say is that Cal is very sad and disappointed that he will not be able to complete this ride....He broke this clavicle in two places and three ribs. He does not remember anything about the accident. The road was good...so we don't know what happened. He is in pain and on morphine. I would like to call you all individually, but I decided that this would be the best way to let everyone know for now...I need to get back to my husband.

Pray for us.
All my love,
Mary

A Double Celebration

2008-07-03T17:18:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday and today Cal completed his final mountain. It was not an easy day for either of us, in fact we were a little low today. For those of you who wonder if we ever get down...this was a down day. All the adrenaline has drained out of us, and we are weary for this last mountain. Cal will write about the climb - but oh! the celebration!!!! All the campgrounds where I had planned to stay were closed because of highway construction. I finally located a lodge that had small rv parking in the back. It was a desperate choice. After parking the camper, I drove back over Continental Divide, through construction, to tell Cal that I was at the Lava Mountain Lodge and Campground. The campground wasn't much, but the lodge had a restaurant that made my birthday a real celebration. I had the most wonderful Italian dinner- reminding me of our time in Italy - served by a cowgirl, with blues playing in the background. The cook was from New York. What a welcome and pleasant surprise to find in the middle of Wyoming by mistake. All I know is that I had a terrific birthday dinner topped off with a chocolate lava birthday cake complete with lighted candle and the mountains are done for Cal! Rejoice!!!

Gold Dust

2008-07-01T18:55:00.001-07:00

Cal and I took another rest day and spent it wandering around Yellowstone National Park a little. We were there with our children when they were 13 and 10 and nothing has changed except the areas that were charred from the 1988 forest fires have little 15 foot trees growing. Yellowstone is a strange and interesting place, but it doesn't touch my heart like the forests of northern Idaho do. We are covered with yellow pollen from the pines trees. It blows so thick it looks like a gold dust storm. We are camping in yet another Forest Service Park. They are primitive but inexpensive and usually very pretty. This park is known for grizzly bears and I was disappointed that one did not visit us last night. I thought I heard some snuffling and growling but it was just Cal snoring.

One of the fun things about taking the "roads less traveled" is the tiny towns that support the areas. I have loved camping in the city parks and going to the general groceries stores. I am beginning to understand the importance of the small town in rural development.

Cal said that he is ready for the drama of the mountains to be done and looking forward to the routine of the plains. I have mixed feelings. Mountains are always special to me- but then I wasn't climbing them on a bike. Cal has two more big climbs before the plains of Wyoming, Nebraska and Iowa!

We fixed pancakes for supper tonight and I had another one of my "baths." Makes me feel like I am living in the old west. It's very pleasant in an old world kind of way. And maybe I'll see my grizzly tonight. We can always hope!

Glad that some of you know what Ents are.

Yours on the Long and Winding Road,
Mary

Old Faithful - Mary and Cal

2008-07-01T14:24:00.000-07:00

Goodbye Montana - Hello Wyoming

2008-07-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

A Fun Day in Montana

2008-06-29T20:49:00.001-07:00

What a fun day. I had my first “backing up a camper” lesson from one of my gentlemen friends with a big rig. He looked like Santa Claus. I handle the camper fine most of the time except when “it gets away from me.” (His words) He told me he has taught many a grown man the art of backing up a trailer. He showed me which mirror to use and where to place my right hand so that my brain, I mean my wheels, will line up the way I want the trailer to go. He was an excellent teacher. He gave me homework. Go back to Iowa, (if it’s still there when you get home,) and practice in a parking lot…and DON’T let it get away from you! He consoled me “the small trailers are tougher to back, you know, because they get away from you faster than the big rigs.” And he has been all over the world including the Arctic Circle. He knows.

I saw the famous Beaverhead Rock that I have been reading so much about. Sacagawea recognized the rock formation from her childhood and saved the lost William Clark and got him back on the right trail. I kept imagining what it must have been like for her to see that rock again…stolen from her Shoshone Tribe as a child by another tribe and then sold to a French trader to wife and now a young mother...

Along the road today was a garnet mine where you buy a bucket of dirt for twenty five dollars and pan for treasure. Just like on TV.

It was hot in this valley this afternoon. But the air is so dry that a little breeze is all it takes to keep you comfortable. I don’t miss humidity. And the nights get down into the 40s. Yum!

Good night everybody. God bless you!
Mary

A Long Day in Montana

2008-06-28T18:45:00.001-07:00

It's hard to keep track of the days but I just heard the bells ring for Saturday night mass here in Dillon, Montana. It was a long day for both Cal and me. The snow capped mountains are beautiful but distant and there are long Montana stretches that seem to take forever - even in the van. This is ranch and cattle and mosquito country. We are pushing to get to Yellowstone.

Yesterday we camped in a lovely little USFS campground again right by a mountain stream that roared. Cal likes his white noise but this one was a little much. It was part of Montana that was burned in the 2000 forest fires. The trunks of the some of the huge ponderosa pines were charred but unhurt. They are mighty trees. I told Cal we were camping among the Ents. If you don't know who the Ents are, I'm sorry, I can't help you. Either you like the Lord of the Rings or you don't.

I had been driving though mountain passes that at one time would have terrified me. Now I enjoy it! The only other thing I have to say is that men don't like to see a women hitch up by herself. There is always an old gentleman will a big rig camper who stands around to watch and give advice and a little WD-40 when I need it.

Is it still raining in Iowa?
Love,
Mary

What I see

2008-06-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

Cal Biking down the Road

What I see

2008-06-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

A Battlefield - Big Hole, Montana

Missoula

2008-06-26T16:51:00.000-07:00

Today is our first rest day. Rest day, re-group day, catch-up day, clean-up day, re-plenish day. Since I had a shower, I said that the car could have a bath, too. Rule number one for all you men who think you want to try this kind of adventure with your wife. Wash wife - and THEN car. Nothing special about Missoula to tell you. Just a city with more traffic than seems appropriate...but then, I've been a mountain woman for 11 days now. I wear a twisted bandanna in my hair and little make-up. I try to clean up purty for Cal but I have developed a new look to accommodate my new role as scout and wagon mistress. This re-adjustment to Pella might take longer than I thought...

The Perfect Campsite - Wendover

2008-06-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

How we do run on about the wonders of this campsite! However, I must ammend, the mosquitoes were primitive little savages that tried to bite right through the screen. The Lochsa River is about 20 yards beyond the camper. The campground is an historic site as it is where Lewis and Clark realized they had lost the Lolo Trail and needed to head back up the steep hills to get back on the Trail. They were starving and miserable and had to kill horses to eat...even their Native American guide was lost. The area is so wild and difficult that Highway 12 (the road we took across the pass) was not completed until 1962. And that's your history lesson for today.

What I See

2008-06-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

Map of Idaho Route

2008-06-25T15:20:00.001-07:00

Check This Out, Jeff!

2008-06-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

I have discovered a new sport in Idaho called Bridge Boarding. It takes a rope, a bridge and a rushing mountain river and a piece of plywood. See above picture.

Today in Idaho I saw mile after mile of calendar picture forests with rushing (and I mean rushing since they had a lot of snow this winter) mountain rivers. We are on the part of the trail that was so discouraging to Lewis and Clark, and where the Nez Perce Indians skillfully evaded the US army for so many miles. Tomorrow we cross Lolo Pass. Lots of history there. I am reading a lot about Lewis and Clark right now.

Tonight we fall asleep to the sound of the rushing Lochsa River in a forested campground. Beautiful and Peaceful. It has been a perfect picture postcard kind of day. Wish you were here.

Mary

Map of Oregon Route

2008-06-22T18:23:00.000-07:00

Cowboys Drink Espresso - or Leaving Hell

2008-06-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

For those of you who just like the facts, ma'am, we are in New Meadows, Idaho after giving a glad farewell to Hell's Canyon. It is an stunning area but I couldn't help but put myself in the spiritual geography of the place. I found those giant bare hills more intimidating than any of the mountains that we have crossed so far. I hope I have a picture that shows it but I doubt that I do. Hell is something you have to experience. :).

All the little towns pop. 500 and less have espresso shops. I have given up my morning coffee because it takes too much time in the morning and just wait until the first tiny town. And there is a line up of cowboys hats waiting for their morning caffeine.

Phil wanted to know what my day is like. I actually haven't had much spare time so far...my mornings start at about 7:00 when I kiss Cal goodbye and then snuggle in bed for another 1/2 an hour or so. Then I pack up the camper and get myself ready for the day and hitch up the camper to the van. That always takes longer than I want....those hitches...I have learned to pray myself through the process and some little tricks to get that ball in just right! Do chores...like get water, gas, groceries and ice and then I drive down the road to find Cal and check out his condition and make plans for the next part of the ride. Sometimes I go right on to the end of the route and find a place to set up camp. Then I set up the camper and have an hour or two free time until Cal comes down the road. Dinner, cleaning up ourselves and the camper and getting ready for the morning take the rest of the evening. Cal goes to sleep early. We have not had electricity or Internet or cell phones much of this first part of our ride so we sneak writing blogs in whenever we can. In my spare time, I am reading the journals of one of the members of the Lewis and Clark's team (very appropriate) and I did get a chance to play my recorder one day and work a sudoku. There is always photography but it is very hard to edit my pictures on the laptop. I am enjoying my experience but it was a lot easier on paper.

Right now I am in a tiny city park, waiting for Cal to come any minute and much to my surprise I have Internet service!!!!

Maybe Idaho might be a little more Internet user friendly than western Oregon. I hope so! I want to learn more about the Oregon Trail.
Love,
Mary

Tipton Summit - 5124 feet

2008-06-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

Judy Perry - Mitchell, Oregon

2008-06-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

Places with Faces

2008-06-19T18:48:00.001-07:00

I wouldn’t have missed Mitchell, Oregon for the world although it's so small, I almost did. We are in the high desert. Ponderosa Pines and hot bright air. Mitchell is one of those broken down little towns that exist as a pit stop on the way to somewhere else. Pop.190. It’s got the crazy charm of a town that tries to entertain without putting on airs. (No cell phone coverage here. They’re a little apologetic about that.) A bear named Henry lives in a cage next to the gas station with era 1960 gas pumps. Everyone in Mitchell has a story because no one would choose to live here unless circumstances prevailed. I spent quite a while with Judy who is busy selling off the artifacts of the town. She was raised on one of the biggest sheep ranches in the United States. First husband didn’t work out so good. She met her second husband when she was waitressing and spilled two drinks in his lap. They’ve been married for 18 years. I bought a doorknob. It was the only thing I could afford.

We are camping in the city park for free with 4 or so other bikers. While we were finishing up dinner, a woman (we found out later her name was Doris) came to the park with her dog. He would jump straight up in the air and grab a mouth full of leaves. If he chomped onto a branch strong enough he would dangle from the tree by his mouth, tying to wrestle the branch out of the tree. We have pictures. She was reading a old worn copy of Jane Eyre so I knew she was a kindred spirit and we chatted like old friends.

For those of you who might be worried about me going another night without a shower, I do have a way to wash up that is quite satisfactory. It involves a large plastic tote, a bucket, and about 3 gallons of rinse water and a plastic cup. Not quite the same as a hot shower but it works in a pinch.

The high desert is quite beautiful. I can’t believe all the variety of climates in Oregon. They have something for everyone.

Peace,
Mary

Koosah Falls

2008-06-17T16:28:00.000-07:00

Showers and Clean Clothes Can Wait

2008-06-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

I guess showers and clean clothes will have to wait....
The campsite was beautiful but primitive and we fell asleep with the hum of a waterfall in our ears. Well worth the sacrifice.
It's so wonderful to hear from all of you! I try to reply but my laptop time is limited. I do wonder what's happening in Cedar Rapids and the rest of flooded Iowa.
Today I can say officially that...I love it. For everything I dislike there is something that I wouldn't want to miss. I hate hitching up the camper...I always smash something, a finger or a toe or a knee, but I wouldn't miss washing my face in cold mountain air with warm water. And a shower is becoming AN EVENT. Every day has a drama to it. It's like living in a reality show.

Forgive a few personal comments.

Merlyn-We are staying at the First Baptist Church in Prineville tonight. Please forgive us. (The Prineville Christian Church office was gone for the day by the time I called. I did try.) Cal was feeling so good he wanted to bike a little longer. Thanks again for all your help getting us over the Cascades. We expect to see you biking out to Pella one of these years. We will always have a warm place in our hearts for the Oregon Christian Churches.

Rosa, good to talk to you. Please explain to Kris how to comment on a blog. Ok? My love to Terri. It will get better Lana.

I have so much I want to say. Sometimes I wonder why God cares about this stupid bike trip, but he is showing up so often in such beautiful and sometimes amazing ways, I can't help but think that maybe He is having fun too.
Love to all of you.
Mary

Learning Curves

2008-06-15T21:57:00.000-07:00

Cal wrote a blog about his first day on the road. I spent most of today trying to figure out exactly what I am supposed to be doing... and when it's the best time to do it. All this thinking has me plum tuckered out! Thank you Norkenzie Christian Church and the Hough family for your support today. You were a gift today!
We will be camping in the Cascades tomorrow. I wonder if there is a campground with a laundry.... Time to wash some clothes.

Happy Father's Day!
Mary

It All Started with Starbucks

2008-06-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

It all started with Starbucks. I hadn't had good strong coffee for a few days and I find the smallest treat can make the day special. But the day just kept getting better and better. We had saved some of the most spectacular view of the Columbia River until morning and I took pictures to my heart's content. (I'll download some pictures later. It takes a long time and I am waiting at for Cal at our first rendezvous spot out of Florence.)

And then it got better. Cal saw me look wistfully at a Monastery sign and off the beaten path we went to visit the only monastery IN THE WORLD of Brigittine Monks. We had a lovely chat with Brother Francis and I learned about the Brigittine order. We were so blessed by our little side trip and I hope he was blessed as well. AND we bought candy! It doesn't get any better than that.

Next on our agenda was to find some local fresh fish to eat. Mission accomplished. It was a local fish market in Newport, Oregon crowded with locals, buying and eating. That's always a good sign! And then, dear sister-in-law Gretchen, it was time to baptise Cal's bike in the ocean. He couldn't think of a good name yet...I think the name will have to evolve from the trip. He's a little distracted right now, but on a slow evening we'll work on it.

Our campsite was ready at Florence Christian Church. Then the hard part began. All my planning and preparing just seem to create a bigger learning curve then we wanted. It was frustrating trying to determine the best way to do everything...and all that stuff! It still all needs a place to coexist with us until we need it! I had to calm myself that this will all make sense soon...once we find a routine. This is where the character building stuff starts...I'm a great tourist...but I find I need help to be a better person. This, too, is part of it.

Playtime is done.

Today's biggest problem -- trying to carry 5 gallons of water.
Todays' biggest blessing -- Everything.

Til later,
Mary

Fork in the Road

2008-06-14T00:54:00.000-07:00

We put in a very long day driving and we are parked at a rest stop getting some sleep before we reach our destination tomorrow. At least Cal is. We are at the Columbia River which divides Washington and Oregon and we will head down the coast to Florence and be there in plenty of time to relax before Sunday. This day has been a blur. Stretches of beauty and stretches of boredom. Bounty and desolation. And sometimes the desolation was beautiful. It all went by so fast. I am glad that during the bike ride the pace will be a little slower and not interstate roads.

I have really learned to appreciate cruise control.

I am learning to appreciate why Iowa farmland is so valuable and how very rare rich flat earth is. I imagine the pioneers and wagon trains traveling the kind of distances that I traveled today and seeing what I saw. It blows my mind. I remember my kids playing Oregon Trail in Mr B's class in school. Did you get to Oregon alive, Rachel?

I see all sorts of things to be curious about, but no time for answers today.

Did you know it's against the law to pump your own gas in Oregon?

God is good and we are almost there!

Love,

Mary

Nebraska

2008-06-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

The Mighty 80

2008-06-12T19:50:00.000-07:00

We left Pella in a morning downpour and watched the flood water lapping at highway 80 as we said goodbye to Des Moines. I heard they were closing 80 tomorrow east of Des Moines. I am not at all surprised. I have been following the weather in Iowa all day. Unbelievable. More of the same! Lord, have mercy! As I write this we are watching the sunset on the western side of Nebraska and the air is dry and 50 degrees and falling rapidly. Fresh and clean. Big big sky country. The sun takes forever to set. I'd forgotten...

We have a laptop with a wireless internet donated by Matt Smith from Altel. WoW! It connects to what used to be the van cigarette lighter and runs off a power converter so I can check up on all of you while Cal is driving. (I did my share of driving today, too.)

All my list making abilities served me very well. Packing was a snap. I shall feel very organized for a day or two until my disorganized nature overtakes me once more. But by that time, it won't matter. We made it!

We said more goodbyes this morning. Our son, Jeff, told us we are crazy. It nice to be able to do something once in a while that your CHILDREN can call crazy.

The camper pulls like a dream. Good gas mileage too.
Today our job is to drive. It's hard to remember that's it's part of a much bigger picture.

We will drive until we are tired and then pull off somewhere and sleep. It's nice to be on the road and this far along. We just crossed into Wyoming.

Good night All.

Ps. The message on my Styrofoam cup of coffee that I bought in Kearney, Nebraska said. "You are nowhere." I quite agree but I wouldn't advertise it.

Wishing Well

2008-06-07T17:20:00.000-07:00

My boss and co-workers from Gosselinks came over last night to sit in my camper and to enjoy each others company one last time. You all make coming to work a joy! (See above) And best wishes to Lana, the newest employee who will be learning the job while I'm gone. (Lana...don't believe a word Chris says.)

Church goodbyes, work goodbyes, friend goodbyes, family goodbyes, just-in-case-I-don't-see- you-before-you-go-goodbyes... Thanks to all of you who have wished us well and God speed.
(Of course, there are some of you that I will be talking to more on the road than I do when I am at home trying to balance daily life! US Cellular...you know who you are.)

Anyway...

Here are some of the personal things that I am taking to entertain myself on the road.

Recorder (instrument) and music books...
Genealogy charts
Italian and Spanish and Sign Language books (Spanish is more practical, but Italian is prettier.)
Bird and Tree and Rock Identification books
Bible
Camera
Laptop Computer which becomes my office, post office, library, road maps, telephone book, newspaper, darkroom, and weatherman as well as entertainment. I'll be missing the Olympics!
A sudoku book
Paper
I plan to pick up reading material as I go.

This week it has been hard work to stay in the moment and not be distracted by what's ahead... It's like Cal and I are studying for different exams and the tests are coming! He is an experienced biker and I am an experienced camper...but never before like this.

Cal wrote about "bonking."
I am hitting the wall in my own way.
I think I know how birds must feel in late summer when they are gathering to migrate...
TIME TO GO.

Thank you - Florence Christian Church - Oregon!

2008-06-05T09:53:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Florence Christian Church www.florencechurch.com for allowing us to park in their parking lot on the night before we start the ride. I checked out their website and they seemed to be similar to the church Cal and I attend in Pella, Iowa, www.trcpella.com, so I felt comfortable asking them to allow us to park there. Thank you to Jan and Frieda who helped me on the phone. You will not be forgotten. Just because Cal needs to be on the road at 8:00 doesn't mean I won't be able to attend church in all these places if they will accept me in camping clothes! What fun! To worship my way across the United States!

Both Cal and I are getting itchy. We are SO ready to be on the road and doing this "thing." One week from today we leave for Florence.
The camper goes up and down according the the weather. You see, the thunderstorms have been usually fierce this spring and frequent. So every time bad weather threatens, the camper goes down. I am getting quite an expert at taking down the camper...except for the door. Those of you who have fold-downs know what I mean. I'm short and I seem to get banged and bruised by that door. It may be an ongoing fight this trip. But I do love that little camper.

Our house is in upheaval. As Cal and I prepare for this ride, our son, Jeff, is getting ready to move to Sioux Fall to start his dream job. We have another Jeff living here this summer who is interning at Vermeer and taking two college courses. He studies at the dinning room table every night. My nephew and family will be stopping for an overnight while we are gone and another one of Jeff's friends may need a place to stay as he looks for an apt in Des Moines. But this is no bed and breakfast. Everybody does their own thing. Right now I feel the house is more like a commune. (Kids: Dad and I are finally able to live out the best part of hippiedom.) I wonder what the house will look like when we come home!

My prayers for all my family and friends and fellow travelers through internet. Love you all.

All we need

2008-05-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

I think we now have everything we need to live on the road. The propane heater for the camper came today....A way to get clean, a way to eat, a way to sleep, and a way to stay warm (it hit a high of 50 in Yellowstone today). What else is there? Oh yes. A way to answer nature's call. That, too.

While I was in Michigan this weekend to see my family (my father turns 90 next month), a F-5 tornado tore through Parkersburg, Iowa. The devastation is tremendous. From the air, the town looks like matchsticks - smashed. Cal's dad was a minister and had a church in that area many years ago.
Check out this link for pictures. www.kcci.com/slideshow/weather/16393589/detail.html?rss=des&psp=news
Our daughter, Rachel and son-in-law, Justin came from Grand Rapids for dinner (Rachel, your hair is incredible!) and I visited with my sisters and extended family who were camping just outside Kalamazoo. It was great to see everybody. Love you guys.

Rosy

2008-05-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

Here she is! This will be our home for at least 2 months starting June 15. I know "she" is a "she" because I named her after my boss, Rosa, who so graciously allowed me to have those weeks off this summer. I thank all the people who were involved in getting her to us in Pella, but I'll let Cal take care of giving credit where credit is due. We are indeed spoiled.

I am loading her up. Rosy is basic, tiny, and very classy. She is black and silver inside. (Fleetwood, Coleman, Cobalt) She's a little lopsided - a full bed on one wing and a twin on the other. Stove and sink and table and that's about all. I am working on how to take a shower in a pinch and keep us human in other ways. I'll let you know how it works when we get on the road.

We will not be able to put up the camper until we reach our destination each day so clothes and daily food and water and personal items all be in the mini van, but I think we will have plenty of room even for me to take a little nap in the back while I wait for my husband to come tooling down the road. Hey fella, want a ride?

Beside taking care of Cal (we have both decided that this trip is all about him) I hope to take pictures and learn some local history, pick up a few rocks, identify a few leaves, and read a few books. I might be a monastery of one. The Monastery of the Open Road. I'm sure I'll be changing the name of my monastery as my situation changes...Monastery of the Blistering Heat...Monastery of the No Place to Park.

I also have responsibilities to my hair stylist and friends to keep them well informed of daily life on the road. Pray for me, My Friends. Pray I learn to use a cell phone without swearing. Pray for kind churches with great parking lots. Pray for water. Pray for safety. Pray I won't ruin the carpeting when I dye my hair in a motel room. Ok. I won't dye my hair.

Cal has been training in Iowa wind. He has a bikers wind burn and he is biker thin.

We leave in 24 days.

Love you all!

Our House in Pella, Iowa

2008-05-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

Inside this innocent looking house in Iowa, a bike trip across the United States is being planned.

One State At A Time

2008-05-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have put away my Dutch Costume. Pella's Tulip Time has come and gone for one more year. The spring in Iowa has been cold and miserable, so therefore, the town's tulips were unusually beautiful. (If that's what it takes, we might want to consider another flower!) Cal and I tandemed around town to check out the tulips yesterday...(maybe that will be the first step to lose the 20 pounds I gained this winter.) Anyway...back to the trip planning of the Renewing Spirits Bicycle Tour.

I am very excited about the possibility of pulling an basic 8 foot pop-up. It will give us the sleeping space we need without taking away from the adventure of "camping." We have camped in a pop-up for years with our kids. Now I know how to deal with all the details that have been teasing me.

Did you know that it's only 31 degrees in Yellowstone right now! I am monitoring temperatures in the Western United States to make some decisions about our living needs...looks like we will need warm layers as well as cool layers. When we went to Italy I was able to pack all my personal clothes in one carry-on suitcase and I liked living that way. Simple...and I am hoping to be able to pack in a similar way on this trip without looking too much like a bag lady.

Last night I looked at maps...it was so exciting and I started getting curious about all these little black dots with names and the squiggles of ink that connect them! In less than 6 weeks, the dots and squiggles will have faces to go with their names. I only let myself look at one state at a time so I won't get overwhelmed by the bigness of it all. (My computer has no trouble with "bigness".) "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day (or each state) has enough trouble of its own." From the book of Matthew.

Cal, in his blog, mentioned "Pressing On" by Bob Dylan. Other song that I will carry with me is "I See You" by Rich Mullins. Especially these lyrics.

Lord, You're leading me (Lord, You're leading me)
With a cloud by day (With a cloud by day)
And then in the night (And then in the night)
The glow of a burning flame (The glow of a burning flame)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)

And You take my hand (And You take my hand)
And You wash it clean (And You wash it clean)
I know the promised land (I know the promised land)
Is light years ahead of me (Is light years ahead of me)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)

Well, the eagle flies (Well, the eagle flies)
And the rivers run (And the rivers run)
I look through the night (I look through the night)
And I can see the rising sun (And I can see the rising sun)

And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And everywhere I go, I see You (And everywhere I go, I see You)
And I see You, Lord, I see You

One State at a Time.

Adventure and Details

2008-04-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

I just reread my last post. It sounded kind of scared, didn't it... I'm really not at all scared. I love adventure and I love solving problems in my head. I just don't know what the problems will be this time, nor will I...the whole trip. Now that's what I call adventure! Each day will be different. Different weather, different landscape, different people... I suspect I will learn much about being dependent on God and dependent on others, and for someone like me who hates to ask for help - that is enough adventure all by itself. Here's another whatif for you. "What if I get tired of adventure?"

We will need to get the house ready for my son, Jeff, to take care of this summer while we are gone. It will be a good learning experience for him and for us. I started a little notebook for him about how to clean the kitchen sink and how often to feed the cats....full of things that are just Details, Details - until you need them -and then they become Important Information. It IS a little frightening how many details you deal with on a daily basis...and I find details stressful - so trying to get the house ready for our absence is not as much fun as thinking about how to survive on the road for 8 weeks. (My dear children. You will learn a lot about your mother if you read this blog. I think I raised you in survival mode.)

Cal is right...it's easy to wander around when you are writing these blogs. While Cal is busy training for the ride...I am still dreaming and making lists. Details, Details.

Dreaming the What ifs

2008-04-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

This "thing" will happen. I don't know what it's going to look like...but it will happen!

Cal and I will be camping on the road but I don't know yet what I am going to be driving - my ability to plan is limited... so I just dream the "what ifs." "What if we don't have electricity?" "What if we don't have water?" "What if it's snowing in the mountains?" "What will I do while Cal's biking?" "What kind of food will he need?" "Will churches let me park my "rig" in their parking lots for the night?" I have solved all these problems in my head very creatively. I have biked with Cal enough to know what to expect each day, but all I did was bike at those times and let other people take care of the logistics. Now it is my turn.

The biking maps came the other day and Cal ordered me a set of my very own. The woman has maps!

I do know two cookbooks I will be taking along with me. I cooked out of the More With Less Cookbook from the beginning of our marriage until Cal took over the kitchen. Now it will be traveling with me again. The other cookbook is a North Woods Cabin cookbook. Lots of simple comfort food. "What if I don't have an oven?" "What if...? "What if...?" What if...?"